Posted 5 days ago

lasfloresdemayo:

pregnantfitmom:

casualblessings:

May you have enough money to pay your bills this month with a little extra left over for a bit of fun.

This is one of the nicest things to wish for someone

Yes.

Posted 5 days ago

kavaeric:

So I was trying to draw the Sydney Opera House and so I downloaded a model on Sketchup to reference from

it was all fine and cool but then I noticed an odd speck in the middle of the deck thing

image

so I zoomed in

image

Posted 5 days ago

x-file:

catazoid:

As promised, here are some pictures of Lyalya’s first walk outside! Look at the bushy little squirrel tail :D the sandpit was her favorite spot! She was extremely excited and threw sand all over the place

this is a fucking squirrel. this is a fucking squirrel with a cat’s head. who is responsible for this

Posted 5 days ago

Here’s a Quiz Everyone!

The bathtub drain gets clogged. Who has to take 5 minutes to unclog it?

A. The 22 year old brother who doesn’t have a job, only takes one online class, never does any chores, and spends all his time in the garage with friends or playing videogames on his computer,

Or

B. The high school sister who takes full time engineering college courses, works part time retail, and participates in over ten extracurricular activities, only eating one meal a day as well as cleaning everyone’s dishes and her brother’s gross bathroom (Meaning, yeah this is the right answer).

If you guessed B you are totally correct! A is currently sniffling and throwing a temper tantrum that involes chucking other people’s stuff around the house, stomping, and slamming doors.

Bonus question: Who totally supported A without even asking a question about his questionable story?

If you said “Their parents” you get a brownie! Join us next time on “My Family is Absolute Garbage” where E-Cat’s brother gets grease all over the bathroom sink, blames her, and gets her parents to make her clean it up (Episode title: E-Cat, the Family Scapegoat).

Posted 6 days ago

stevencrewniverse:

A selection of Character, Prop and Effect designs from the Steven Universe Episode: Steven and the Stevens

Art Direction: Elle Michalka

Lead Character Designer: Danny Hynes

Character Designer: Colin Howard, Carly Monardo, Lauren Monardo Gramprey

Prop Designer: Angie Wang, Carly Monardo, Lauren Monardo Gramprey

Color: Tiffany Ford

Posted 1 week ago
please elaborate on how you got a substitute teacher to quit within one day. I'm genuinely curious.
Anonymous asked

mysticmoonhigh:

mamalovebone:

all right everyone sit down, shut up and listen closely because I’m about to tell y’all the tale of Ms. Mormino.

Seventh grade is a time most people don’t look back on fondly. I know I sure don’t—I tend to regard that era as nothing more than an unpleasant, acne-filled haze of fall out boy and poor attempts at pseudo-zooey deschanel fashions. But enough about me. Let’s talk about my math teacher. 

Ms. Isom. Poor old Ms. Isom. Well in her 60’s, always plagued with some illness or injury, she was hardly ever even at school. Since many of her absences were the result of short-notice incidents—“falling down the stairs” was popularly cited— it wasn’t all that uncommon to not have a substitute on hand. Being a smartass honors class, we’d gotten away with several successful evasions of administration, walking cavalierly into class  to pass the next 48 minutes doing just about nothing. Hell, for good measure, we’d sometimes even toss in a friendly “hey, Ms. Isom!” if any administrators were anywhere within earshot. So incredibly anti-establishment, you could basically call it another Project Mayhem, except instead of Brad Pitt and Ed Norton concocting homemade bombs, it was a bunch of tweenyboppers with iPhone 3’s and Justin Bieber 2009 haircuts. 

 We got pretty accustomed to our own little self-governing system that rolled around every second period, so we naturally weren’t exactly thrilled when administration caught on to our little Anarchy Act and strictly enforced the presence of a substitute every day. 

Most of our subs weren’t terrible—most were friendly, gave us participation grades, and didn’t object to the independent attitude of our class (which, mind you, only had about ten students in it) 

That is, until Ms. Mormino came along. 

Four feet, ten inches of raw, undiluted evil, Ms. Mormino walked into class with a scowl on her face and a chip on her shoulder. When the girl behind me sneezed, Ms. Mormino’s immediate response was “NO INAPPROPRIATE NOISES!” 

 Although we all suppressed our laughter, we all knew from that moment on that, try as she might with her despotism and her draconian anti-sneeze policy, Ms. Mormino didn’t stand a chance. 

 The arguable beginning of the end for Ms. Mormino’s all-too-brief reign of terror was the moment I asked for a calculator; mine was broken. Mormino asserted that I could only borrow a calculator if I loaned her something of mine; at that moment, the girl next to me chimed in, saying she, too, needed a calculator. “I have a folder I can give you,” I offered. “I have a highlighter,” added the other girl. 

 At that moment, a puberty-creaking voice from the back of the room piped up. 

Max. 

We all know certain people have certain gifts. Michelangelo saw angels in every block of marble and devoted his life to setting them free; Einstein had a mind which saw the potential of the entire universe; F. Scott Fitzgerald wove intricate tales of decadence and depravity. Max, however, had a different kind of gift: he could make anything—anything at all—into a “that’s what she said” joke. More on that later, though. 

Max pried off a Nike sneaker and held it proudly in the air, like a coveted trophy. 

"I have a shoe." 

Tottering in one-shoe-one-sock, Max dumped the sneaker on Ms. Mormino’s desk, retrieved a calculator, then tottered back to his own desk, a sort of smirk playing on his face. And, as to be expected—the rest of us quickly followed suit. 

 A small pile of shoes on her desk, Ms. Mormino grit her teeth and glared at us as we all sat back down, quietly victorious, a calculator in each of our hands. It wasn’t long, however, until we all began to silently plot our next act of minor mayhem. 

"Can I go to the bathroom?" asked Tyler, who, despite being in seventh grade, was approaching his sixteenth birthday. In a combination of verism and admiration of Tyler’s devil-may-care boldness, we unequivocally accepted him as our leader. For reasons unknown, Ms. Mormino denied his request. Tyler, much like his Fight Club namesake, heeded no rules but his own and left anyway—Ms. Mormino, furious, locked the door behind him and smugly insisted that "administration will take care of him." 

Tyler, however, was not one to be caught, and stayed close by, appearing in the window of the door whenever Ms. Mormino wasn’t looking. Waving, smiling, laughing, making faces and obscene gestures, Tyler had us all in stitches, but cleverly avoided Ms. Mormino’s sight—when she asked us what was so funny, we all refused to give Tyler away. 

A girl asked to go to the bathroom, stating she “really really really” needed to go. Ms. Mormino, again, denied her request. Ms. Mormino, however, seemed to be uninformed about the side door—leading right outside, always locked from the outside but always open from the inside. 

"Well, I’ll go myself," the girl responded, and took off, hurdling three desks and darting out the door. Right behind her, two other students took off, pursuing freedom. The door slammed behind all three students, and they were gone. 

 Six of us were left. Among us, importantly, was Chris. 

Chris was thirteen, but looked half his age; scrawny, wiry, he probably measured in at about four-foot-three, but no taller. “Late Bloomer” are words that come to mind. 

Despite his diminutive size, Chris possessed the gall of someone like Tyler.

"I have to use the bathroom," said Chris, standing. 

 ”Do you think I’m going to allow you to go to the bathroom?” snapped Ms. Mormino. 

 ”It’s an emergency!” Chris pleaded. 

"Sit down," Ms. Mormino growled. 

Meanwhile, the entire class borders on hysteria. We have tears in our eyes, almost suffocating from choking back laughter. 

"It’s an emergency," repeated Chris, but it sounded more like a warning.

"Sit."

Silence. Silence, Silence and more silence, until we all began to notice a dark stain on Chris’s khakis. The stain grew. And grew. And grew.

 Fists at his sides, stoicism in his face, and a cold, proud, triumphant glint in his eye, Chris locked eye contact with Ms. Mormino. 

And pissed right in his pants. 

The entire class erupted into a laugh only comparable to the detonation of a bomb. 

We laughed so hard for the next five, ten, fifteen minutes straight that Ms. Mormino gave up. Surrendering, putting her head on her desk, she waited until the hysteria finally subsided. 

Finally looking up, defeated, pathetic, Ms. Mormino glared at us all and wailed: 

 ”This is too much, this is too hard, too hard, Jesus Christ, this is too much for me!” 

 A lone voice sounded from the back of the room. Guess whose it was.

"That’s what she said."

Ms. Mormino officially retired from teaching that afternoon.

FUCKING READ IT IT’S WORTH IT

Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

kungfu-mulutan:

restoring faith in love

Posted 1 week ago
finalzidane-x:

nyx-010:

horroriskiller:

The boy who played Danny in “The Shining” had no idea he was filming for a horror movie. From Cracked: 

Lloyd just thought they were making a movie about a family in a hotel. He wasn’t even really sure how much he was getting paid to be there. He was only ever shown severely edited footage that took out all the scary parts, which essentially means he thought he was filming the most boring snoozefest ever created, because without the iconic scenes of terror, The Shining is a movie about three people wandering around in cavernous, brooding silence.
Lloyd didn’t see the actual uncut movie until many years later as a teenager, and suddenly everything clicked into place — those two nice British girls with whom he used to play and share lunch in between takes? They were ax-murdered ghosts who wanted his soul. That nice Jack Nicholson man who did a funny tomahawk dance when Lloyd accidentally wandered on set one day? Jack was slobberingly hacking his way through a bathroom door to murder Lloyd’s onscreen mother only moments prior.


That must have been the biggest mindfuck of his life.

Clever way to put a kid in a scary movie and still keep his innocence if you ask me. Now he’s got bragging rights for being in a classic.

finalzidane-x:

nyx-010:

horroriskiller:

The boy who played Danny in “The Shining” had no idea he was filming for a horror movie. From Cracked: 

Lloyd just thought they were making a movie about a family in a hotel. He wasn’t even really sure how much he was getting paid to be there. He was only ever shown severely edited footage that took out all the scary parts, which essentially means he thought he was filming the most boring snoozefest ever created, because without the iconic scenes of terror, The Shining is a movie about three people wandering around in cavernous, brooding silence.

Lloyd didn’t see the actual uncut movie until many years later as a teenager, and suddenly everything clicked into place — those two nice British girls with whom he used to play and share lunch in between takes? They were ax-murdered ghosts who wanted his soul. That nice Jack Nicholson man who did a funny tomahawk dance when Lloyd accidentally wandered on set one day? Jack was slobberingly hacking his way through a bathroom door to murder Lloyd’s onscreen mother only moments prior.

That must have been the biggest mindfuck of his life.

Clever way to put a kid in a scary movie and still keep his innocence if you ask me. Now he’s got bragging rights for being in a classic.

Posted 1 week ago